Merry Xmas, Jerks

So it's been at least a year since anyone posted a new entry in this particular blog. Or not, I didn't really count. How'd you go? Good year? I didn't pay attention. Who won Big Brother? (you will note that if I said this last year it would have been a cute joke but there was actual Big Brother on TV this year for some reason. Drag).

I've recently returned home from an overnight shift at work and I have another coming up in about 12 hours, so my Christmas lunch is getting started a little early. Beer now and turkey later. Here are my thoughts on the beer I am currently drinking, which is Gouden Carolus Hopsinjoor.

Dissapointingly, I don't have a picture. It's because my phone is terrible, nothing personal. Although I guess I could have stolen one from the rest of the internet, but that seems rude. You could look it up. Alternatively, close your eyes and visualise my words. You have to read at least a few before you close your eyes, otherwise it won't work. Either way, boy does this beer like to make a head. I managed to pour a small amount of it into a glass while the rest filled up with a kind of weird lumpy marshmallow entity that would only get madder if I tried to pour more beer in.  After much tentative prodding I can safely say it's a pale beer of about 8% ABV (the latter part was on the label but it feels more appropriate to tell you now, chill). Some folks would call this a Belgian IPA, but if you said that to someone from Belgium they'd probably be all like "huh", or something. Inscrutable, those Belgians. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

The answer is probably ham.

I guess they are not all that concerned with classifying beer over there. Busy about their Fancy Belgian Business™.  I don't really know what kind of beer to call it. It's probably made by monks, or something. They are way secretive from what I have heard. I also don't really even know what monks are. So this is way hoppy for a Belgian beer, but with those noble kind of hops. Nothing that starts with a C or is from New Zealand, which is all the rage nowadays. Golding, Spalt, Hallertauer and Saaz. From bonafide old-timey bines that don't much care about your youthful exuberance and swing music. Hops that wouldn't bother tilting their monocle down far enought to read this blog entry.

Anyways, if you fancy a beer, this is a pretty good one. A clean entry with a little bready pils malt and some crisp green apple followed up with a big bunch of chalky yeast and a peppery and slightly medicinal snap late - kinda like a saison without any dank basement-y funk. On point. Big grassy hops and a nice lingering bitterness and just dry as hell. I dig this.

Merry Christmas, dudes. Get propserous, if you have the time.